Day 18 was like any other, woke up at 5am and headed to the gym for Body Pump. About 10 minutes prior to pump I consumed a small apple, 2 eggs, and 1 slice of Ezekiel toast.
I felt good during pump, I had energy and really felt strong.
After class I headed home to get ready for work. At 8:30am I had 1 cup muscleegg, 1/4 cup oats, 1/2 cup raspberries, 1 scoop Metabolic Nutrition Protizyme protein, and about a TBPS PB2 mixed together to make a shake. After my shake I headed out the door for work.
Work wasn’t a very busy day, which is unusual, but my food intake started like no other. By 12 I was hungry so I split up my lunch and had 1/2 cup rice, and about 2oz chicken. At 2:30 I went to lunch and had the rest of my lunch which was 1/2 cup rice, 2oz chicken, and 1 cup green beans.
Here’s where things got rocky… We were done with our appointments, so I got bored…. Between the hours of 3-5pm I consumed about 1200 calories of trail mix…. Yup, that wasn’t exactly planned for. I literally fell into one of the binge eating disorder comas where you eat and eat with total disregard… You know the kind that I’m trying to learn more about why this happens so I can stop them or at least try and prevent them… I also only has 2 liters of water all day, which is minimal since I’ve gotten back on my gallon + a day water habits again.
I know boredom was a huge factor, but I’ve noticed there’s also a trend in trail mix and quest bars. You’ll see on day 19 I continue the quest bar trend – but more about that tomorrow.
I want to start trying to add another 2-4oz of chicken, 1/2 cup of rice (or more) and veggies into my daily intake – maybe having more full meals will keep me away from all of the grab and goes.
After work I went home and had 1 cup rice, 4oz chicken, and 1 cup green beans at around 7:30pm. By 8:30 my husband and I went to my jobs holiday party – I didn’t skip this one, but I made sure to eat before I went!
My husband ate which was fine, I had a glass of water and enjoyed the company – I wasn’t hungry but there was pizza in front of me, I looked at my husband and said “I want a slice of pizza” he said “stop” and moved it away from me. I thanked him and we continued with out night.
It’s so important to have a support system. I’m so thankful for my husband, because I may have made some sort of excuse as to how that pizza was “whole” and had a slice just because it didn’t have cheese, but I wasn’t hungry – at all – so I’m glad he was there to move it and support me!
So I talked yesterday about how I would talk about my new hairstyle… When I was younger I always did what I thought was socially acceptable – Id always stay out of the lime light, I was the kind of person who was quiet, and sat on the side lines. Too much attention and Id hide away until the attention was no longer on me. I was a big self conscious mess, until I met a few very integral people who have helped shape me into the person I am today. I am still uncomfortable sometimes in large crowds or when there’s too much attention, but at the same time I challenge that uncomfortability and I welcome it most times. The biggest example is when I teach body pump – I honestly do my best when I have a large class – give me a room full of people to focus on me and I turn into a confident instructor! How does this relate to my hair? Well, a few times in my past I’ve done a few big things with my hair that caused people to pay attention – the first being in 10th grade when my mom died my hair pink for Halloween and it never washed out – for weeks Id cry myself to sleep because I hated getting made fun of. “Halloweens over” they’d say… Yea, well the pink won’t wash out, what do you want from me?!?! I’ve cut my hair to my chin and put colorful streaks into it in my early 20s and then when I was 25 I cut off my mid-back length hair to a pixie cut – with shaved out sides and all. Now, 28 years old – trying to grow out my pixie, I decided I hated how it looked and it was time to do something drastic – if I didn’t have a real day-job Id go even more drastic but – I really think this is going to be my “signature look” for awhile. So, I express myself with my hair – I’m spunky, edgy, and have an air of “badass” around me. Don’t get me wrong – I know i’m not capable of a lot, and I’m continuously working towards getting better everyday, but I am confident, something I never used to be. And although sometimes what others say affects me, overall I don’t give a fuck what people think and I am going to push forth towards my goals whether the general public agrees with what I’m doing or not!