Quiet down and listen

Sometimes it’s important to sit quietly and listen to your heart. In this world of overwhelming demands, we sometimes get lost in our day to day life. I’ve taken some time off from writing in order to search – a bit internally, and a bit externally – for a quiet place to think. It is important sometimes to take a step back from the hustle and bustle that everyday brings, to see the big picture.
Since January started I have been reading a lot more. In fact, I’m on my third book of the year! I think last year I may have read 3 books all year – if that. So far I have read All Things Ella by Ella Kociuba, It Was Me All Along by Andie Mitchell, and I am currently in the process of reading The Best Yes: making wise decisions in the midst of endless demands by Lysa Terkeurst. I’m a big fan of “self-help” type books, and I’m drawn in by stories of hardships followed by how that person has made it to the top. As of late, my biggest interest has been in books related to eating disorders as you’ll notice in the first two books. If you get the change to read any of these three I do think it’s worth it.
Ella Kociuba writes her story, although she’s young – she has a story to tell. I will be honest, although the last chapter was inspiring, I’m not sure if I should have read that book when I did. I think now would be a better time for me, emotionally, to read it. She delves into the dark places of an eating disorder with honesty like no other. Her descriptions of her thoughts during binges and how she handled the stress of life – having broken her back to becoming a sponsored athlete – one where all eyes were on her at the height of her eating disorder, really hit home for me and was hard to read, emotionally. All in all I am happy I read it, but I’m not sure it was great timing. What it did, however, is remind me I’m not alone in this eating disorder (thing) and that there is hope that I can come out at the end of it all, stronger.
Anyway, my next book, by Andie Mitchell, came to me early last week and I decided to read it last weekend. There were parts of this book that really just made sense. For my entire life I’ve always been “the big girl” and reading her account to how she felt the same ways as I have despite losing weight, was incredibly healing. I’ve never been one to dog-ear pages in a book, read a book more than once, or write in a book. I feel that the first and the last thing on my list are disrespectful to the author, and the second – well, I have always gotten bored re-reading something. But, sorry Andie Mitchell, this book is dog-eared and I’ve carried it with me all week, re-reading the dog-eared sections. I also plan to re-read the entire book taking notes all over it. Again, sorry, but this must be done. This book has really opened my eyes to the fact that I’m not alone and I can get through this.
I’m only 5 chapters deep in the book by Lysa Terkeurst. This book is a much different type of book than I usually read. In October I was on a plane to St Louis for a veterinary conference when I noticed the girl next to me was reading this book. She seemed well put together, and was very polite during the flight. I wrote down the name of the book and left it at that at the time. After my trip I remember looking into it, finding out it’s “one of those God books” and deciding there’s no way on this earth I’m going to subject myself to such a book.
For anyone who has known me, you know I don’t talk about my “faith,” I go to church only when I’m asked to by my mother (once every two years or so when we are around on Christmas Eve) and I rarely speak of any organized religion as if I believe in any one thing specifically. Honestly, I’ve been very closed off to the idea of God and Jesus Christ and a book written by human beings that is said to contain “the word of God.” I’ve always been very skeptical of things that I can not see/hear/feel/smell/taste. I do however trust my intuition, and whether you believe that’s God, that is going to be your choice. I was in the bookstore with my husband the other day when he saw this book and said “this looks good” and I smiled, told him to get it, and began reading it. I didn’t tell him why I smiled, or what I thought at the moment, but the truth is, at that moment, I succumbed to the idea that maybe some higher power is telling me that I need to read this book. Maybe not, but if it is, who am I to ignore it? So, so far I’m intrigued. There’s a lot of mention of specific scriptures – of which I have never read the bible so it is interesting to me to have it put in this context – one more relatable. When I start to think to myself “ugh, not more talk about Jesus” I stop myself, remind myself that I am reading a book, a book written by someone who believes in God and lives life through Jesus Christ, a book that has come to my attention on more than one occasion and I don’t believe in chance. I do, however, believe that everything happens for a reason, and therefore I must continue reading this book, and if at the end I feel compelled to do more inward thinking in regards to my faith, or lack there-of, then I shall do so.
What I do like so far about this book is the new perspective – whether regarding Jesus or not – to consider making decisions in life, while weighing all options, and availability both financially and emotionally, I find interesting.
All in all, I think these three are very good reads and I would suggest anyone who is interested in learning a little bit about themselves to pick them up and read them!!
More on The Best Yes when I’m done reading it.
Have you read any of these books? What do you think? Have you read anything worth sharing? Let me know!! I’m on the hunt for more knowledge – whether about myself now or how I could better myself in the future!

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