I’ve been exploring “intuitive eating” and have found some very interesting things happen. I’ve actually thrown away food, stopped eating in the midst of what would normally be a full blown binge, put food back for “later” and then not eaten it later rather – gave it to my husband to eat, and gave in the my “it’s okay” nurturing voice and eaten things I wouldn’t normally eat because they are “bad” because I wanted them and well, in most cases, now I don’t want them again.
For instance, yesterday I went out in the snow and bought that cookie dough donut that Dunkin sells. Now, I must say I’m not a fan of Dunkin, it’s a personal preference but I don’t generally like donuts – but I was intrigued so I went. I waited til I got home to indulge because I really wanted to taste it, not wolf it down while driving – because, well, I’m not hiding it – in fact I told my husband that I was getting it. The reality is, when I got home I sat down, and I ripped off a piece – the inside was more like the chocolate frosting you put on cakes …. Most definitely not what I expected. So I had another bite and ate the inside part (although not what I expected it was still yummy) and threw the rest away.
I’ve been challenging my inner thoughts that hold me back – things like “that’s wasteful” and “you should t eat that” with thoughts like “if I don’t like it, I’m not being wasteful, I’m just not going to continue eating because it no longer serves me” and “I can eat whatever I want, do I want this?” The reason for this, and I’m still new so bear with me, is to redirect my thoughts away from good and bad so I will be less likely to obsess about a certain food item. When I obsess about a certain food, more often then not i wind up binging on it after eating a bunch of things as replacers only to find that nothing will replace the actual item and then when I do eat it I eat it in excess. This has happened so many times, and I can’t even begin to count the amount of calories I’ve consumed trying to limit myself from something – so I found myself yesterday munching on trail mix, debating on whether to get this donut, and realized if I don’t I’ll eat all the trail mix and then when I finally break down and go I’ll be stuffed but want to try every donut and then eat them all because I was limiting myself and the cycle rolls on…. But not anymore, nope, I’m breaking the cycle – slowly but surely. And sure, I’m scared I’ll gain weight, but the little steps that I’ve made that have been really good keep me positive thinking that I can actually beat this binge eating disorder – heck I stopped a binge mid binge because I became mindful of how I was feeling and realized I was full so I decided to do something other than eat to occupy my time. What a concept!!
I’m still in the beginning phases of this, but already feeling much better.
Break the cycle!
Check out Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch.
What big (or small) things have you done this week to break the cycle (whether it be food or something else)?
What is the one negative voice you constantly fight to overcome?