Tag Archives: be brave

If you don’t love it, don’t do it!

Yesterday I posted about my experience with the scale. I talked about how I didn’t let it throw me completely off, but how I was bothered by the number that looked back at me. Looking back on yesterday I realize that I actually handled that experience in a much more constructive way! The old me would have gone straight to stress eating – stress binging (if you will), while the new “intuitive eater” me stuck to my routine. I ate what tasted good and what I knew would serve me well for my goals. It’s interesting because I have goals of competing, which requires one to diet, and yet I have almost completely adopted this lifestyle of intuitive eating. There are some days that I am not very intuitive, I am confused and stressed and over think it, while other days I feel like it all makes sense and I can really listen to my body.

This morning I read something that really resonated with me: IMG_7153

So many times I have found myself thinking about how I can be better, and most of the time (despite knowing better) I find myself comparing my body with others. We do this, don’t we? We may do it unconsciously, or maybe not, but we compare ourselves with others – Not just bodies either! Have you ever found yourself thinking “Wow, she’s so successful, I wish I had ____(Enter whatever you wish you had here)_____.”  But what if in order to have what she had you would have to do something you don’t like to do? Or what if, in order to have the same things you’d have to have surgery or do something illegal? Would it really be worth it?

Something that I’ve been thinking about today is how much what I’m doing – whether it be at work, or at home, or in the kitchen – serves me for what I actually like. Am I creating a career for myself that I can get up everyday and be happy? Am I happy with my living situation? Am I eating foods that taste good and make me feel good too?

It’s interesting to take a step back and really think about how much we compare ourselves to others, and then to realize how much what they have or what they do wouldn’t actually serve us in the long run. So, I’ve decided that I will utilize what I am learning with my nutrition – intuitive eating – and make those same principles work in other aspects of my life. I am going to focus now on what serves me, what matters to me, while making honest decisions about what makes me happy in order to truly realize that the only thing that matters is what I’m doing and what makes me happy!

How can you change your current situation so that you can be happy and feel like what you are doing serves you? Do you love what you are currently doing? If you don’t then… don’t do it!

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…Enter the wonders of intuitive eating

Today is a perfect example of how intuitive eating is slowly working to my advantage.  I think that one day I will have to diet again, assuming I still want to compete, but while I am learning to have a healthy relationship with food, that whole idea of dieting is kind of being thrown out the window (for lack of better words).

Today I woke up, posted a quick blog about how I’ve been doing with intuitive eating, and headed to the gym. Before the gym I took a l-carnitine supplement (click here for more info on this supplement) and drank 1 scoop of Metabolic Nutrition Tri-pep. When I got to the gym I warmed up with about 10-15 minutes of fast speed-walking, and then it was time to get ready to teach Body Pump. About 10 minutes before body pump I knew I had to eat something and of course I had planned ahead so I had my oatmeal mix (oatmeal + 1/4 cup egg whites + 1/4 cup water + ~ 1oz trail mix) which I didn’t finish – because I ate until my tummy wasn’t grumbling and then had to go teach.  I knew it wasn’t the best choice – to wait to eat until the last minute, but I also knew that I wouldn’t have had the energy to teach without eating something – so I picked the better of two evils.

After class I felt a rush of energy and decided to get in a quick back workout. Here’s what I did:10431540_10100692422431887_5202003198178565359_n

  • Superset (SS) x 4 sets – reps were around 15-20 each set: lying overhead lat pulls, seal rows, bent over rows
  • SS x 4 sets – reps between 12-16: Lat pull down (wide grip), seated cable row (tight grip)
  • SS x 4 sets – reps between 12-16: straight arm pull down (using the ropes – hands together at the top, hands at my hips at the bottom), behind the head lat pulldown medium grip
  • SS combo – 1 set: Deadlifts: Deficit for 12, straight leg for 10, sumo for 10.

I would have continued doing more deads but without a belt or straps my forearms were beginning to give especially with all the rows I had just done and body pump prior to that. It was a pretty good workout!

After I was done, I went to my favorite burger place called Elevation burger, where i got a kids burger (1 patty) in a lettuce wrap with onions, no cheese, and tomatoes. Then I headed home and made protein pudding – 1st Phorm CTC protein with a little water to make a pudding consistency (it’s like eating cinnamon toast crunch without the crunch haha!) and I put another 1oz of trail mix in my little container. I started eating the trail mix but stopped because I wasn’t really that hungry anymore.

…. Enter the wonders of intuitive eating.

I’m still learning about all of this, but it’s really becoming somethi97e725c49ab211ddba107acbd7f9b29bng that I can handle on a daily basis. Early I spoke about celebrating the little things, and I think that given my scratchy past with overeating and binge eating disorder, it’s pretty amazing that I’m able to recognize that I’m no longer hungry. A big thing I’ve noticed lately is an increase in my thirst – I’ve been very thirsty lately and I wonder if it’s because my sleep has been off, or if I’m finally recognizing thirst vs. hunger. I know that they say that in the beginning you may notice an increase in your weight at first, and maybe that’s true – but overall I feel good, and I feel like with a new tool for making good choices, I’ll be more likely to make better choices for my overall health as time goes on and as I continue to explore this anti-diet.

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Recap 2014, Goals 2015

2015 has begun, can you believe we are already on day 2?! I’m still trying to get over this sickness, and since I’m home-bound for the remainder of the day, I decided what better way to spend a sick day then to reflect on 2014 and plan for the remainder of this year.

I’ve found lots of different things that I wrote early in 2014 outlining my goals for the year. I’m glad to say that I was able to knock down a few of the items on my list!

On December 1, 2013 I wrote:

Goals for 2014 – no particular order!10176210_10100464648966737_7988876620813816139_n

– Become COPE certified with TSFL
– enough financial freedom so pat doesn’t have to work overnights
– Become fitness instructor (PT v spin/body pump instructor tbd)
– Hit goal weight; transition to maintenance correctly
– Run 1/2 marathon (The North Face endurance challenge – trail run)
– move to Talleyrand / cruise for anniversary
– Run 10 mile race in Bronx, NY
– run color run & muderella
– begin training for NPC bikini competition!👈yes… This is serious

At the time I was a health coach with TSFL and I had big dreams of working hard with the company and really developing my business.

On January 10, 2014, I wrote:

5 lifestyle events I’d like to experience and what habits to get there
1. Run half marathon in May
2. Becomes Les Mills Body Pump instructor
3. Go paddle boarding in the Pacific Ocean this summer
4. I want to reach my goal weight
5. Hike the Appalachian trail (The NY part) with my husband and dogs without any of us dying from lack of ability/oxygen/water/nutrition lol
– train properly for half marathon, and don’t give up
– work on core strength
– go to body pump 2-3x per week and continue to get strong so I can successfully get certified
– re-read DYOH as many times as needed, keep in contact with my health coach/business mentor
– track food and monitor measurements and weight weekly by utilizing my fitbit as well as sticking to the 5&1 until I get to my goal and then transition correctly!

This year was challenging, I started the year well into my second journey with TSFL and I was determined to “do it right” as you can see by my references to the plan both in December and January.

In February I drove down to Washington DC to do my initial instructor training for Body Pump (Les Mills) and began to falter a bit with my nutrition.bodypump I was working out so much that I began to have signs of exercise induced amenorrhoea (the absence of menstrual period due to excessive exercise and/or low body fat). My hormones became extremely imbalanced and I began dealing with a lot of health issues that were contraindicated with the low caloric diet and high intensity exercise that I was doing. My doctor advised me to stop working out so much – and to increase my food intake. My doctor didn’t know my history with binge eating, and advised me to increase my calories to at least 1400-1500 rather than the 1000-1200 that I had been on (I was usually close to 1000 even on days where I’d run 8 miles and practice Body Pump). I quickly began to binge eat, hide food, and fall back into old habits – consuming upwards of 2500+ calories at any given time. I made the decision to slowly back out of being a TSFL coach, slowly letting my clients “fall off” and for that – today I sit here, and feel that I did such a disservice to those people and feel terrible. The biggest problem that I had was that I became so engrossed in what i was doing, trying to figure out some sort of balance for myself, that all those that I was helping fell at the wayside.

It took a long time for me to really get a hold on my nutrition – I still struggle with it, a year later, and I’m sure I’ll struggle for the remainder of my life, but I feel that I’m in a better place – one where balance is happening day by day.

As I mentioned, it took awhile for me to get to a better place – still not perfect, just better. I contacted a bodybuilding/competition coach once I was able to figure out my hormones to the point where I wasn’t gaining 10 lbs every time I ate anything “off plan” and had high hopes to begin training for a competition. To my dismay the coach was more concerned with my overall health than helping me get to a competition – I know that sounds backwards, why would I be upset about this? – well, I am notoriously the person who “wants what I want” and “gets what I want” and when I didn’t get what I wanted I followed the plan half ass’d. Something that, sadly, took half the year to figure out, was that I need to trust the process and stop thinking everything needs to happen NOW. I wanted to compete – I thought that competing would “fix” my nutrition problems and allow me to train as much as I wanted. Boy was I wrong. When I fell into some financial issues and was no longer able to pay for the coaching that I wasn’t listening to anyway, I decided to go it alone – talk about wake up call.

Since the summer of 2014 I’ve been able to maintain my weight within 5lbs. I’ve managed to maintain a fairly clear head and continue to read about and watch videos about successful people in “the business.” I’ve learned that I can absolutely compete, but it’s not going to fix any of my food issues – so I better get my shit together before I even consider a competition!

So, last year I started the year with a list of goals, and this year I will do the same. Last year I vowed to become a certified Body Pump Instructor – which I have accomplished. I also wanted to run the 1/2 marathon which I did in May. I reached my goal weight, and then gained 25lbs back (boo). My husband still works overnights, and I still live in the same apartment, and as I bet you can expect – I didn’t become a COPE certified coach. I did however go to my first Veterinary conference in St. Louis, became an AFAA certified group fitness instructor, I went to the AIM 1 for Body Pump, and I have managed to open myself up and really be honest with myself with my fitness/health goals.

This year I want to take my goal setting to the next level

My 2015 goals are as follows:

– Run Spartan sprint1941510_10100435167417997_780316614_o
– AIM 2: Body Pump
– Elite Trainer status: Body Pump
– The NorthFace Endurance Challenge: 1/2 marathon (Bear Mountain)
– Travel to LA to visit Pat’s family & Katherine
– Visit Alycia and the babies at least twice this year
– Try crossfit – most likely fall in love, and figure out a way to afford the local box
– MOVE OUT OF THIS APARMTENT THIS SUMMER
– Travel to Ohio and see Robyn & Joe (only fair since they came to visit us last year!)
– Financial freedom (this will probably be on my list every year)
– Become certified in another Les Mills program: GRIT or CxWorx
– GO TO THE BEACH WITH JACKIE AT LEAST ONCE THIS SUMMER!
– Read a new book every month!
– Every time I want to binge, STOP, drink water, wait a half hour, and redirect myself to healthier options that don’t involve food

For now that is where I will leave my 2015 goals…. As my goals are forever changing, I’m sure I will continue to reflect on what I want out of 2015 as the year goes on. Although I still strive to enter into my first bodybuilding competition I’m not sure that I’m quite ready for that mentally. For now, I will continue to work hard, continue to push myself physically, and mentally, and work hard on my nutrition.

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31 Days of Clean foods Day 5 & 6

Picture this: it’s Friday morning, for over a year now you have woken up every Friday morning at 7am and gone to the gym by 9am for Body Pump followed by Spin (obviously this has a few exceptions but it’s pretty much been this way). But this Friday was different. After two days off from work I woke up at 5am, got my stuff together got to the gym by 6am for fasted cardio (Stairmaster for 45 minutes), drank 1 cup of chocolate muscleegg right after, showered, and headed to work. When I got to work I had my usual cream of rice with Metabolic Nutrition Protizyme protein and peanut butter breakfast and then it was work time. We hired a new doctor, and she has a new technician who needs training since she’s a fairly new technician and she’s new to the service – so I volunteered to help out where I could with her training. I would be lying if I said the day was easy. I don’t know why I had this idea that it wouldn’t be too bad and I’d be done by 3 or 4pm. By 2 pm I was starving – hadn’t not eaten anything since breakfast at 8am, so I ran quickly to have an apple, ¼ cup of almonds, and some water. I worked through hunger, and any sort of lunch break, and I didn’t leave until after 8pm. By the time I got home at 9pm I was starving, but I really didn’t want anything – funny huh? So I had chicken and turkey (about 2oz of each) with edamame (I think about a cup) and a sweet potato. I really wanted to make sure that I didn’t eat anything that I shouldn’t have so I stayed away from the supermarket and just had when I was supposed to eat for lunch. I knew if I went to the super market it would be bad news bears and I’d make excuses for why it would be okay to eat whatever I wanted, but it would have only been because I wasn’t really running on all cylinders. Anyways, after this I cooked up some steak, made another sweet potato (I poke them a few times with a fork – 4 minutes on each side in the microwave and voila! Perfect potato), and I put together a “little” salad for Friday (Day 6). Once I had my food packed for Friday, I fell asleep on the couch around 11pm, and woke up around 12:30 to go to bed. Les Mills Body Pump AIM 1 tomorrow bright and early in Maryland!

IMG_5563BEEP BEEP BEEP! The alarm went off at 3am. Since I had everything all set up the night before I was able to just get up and get to it – although half asleep, I was surprised how fast I got up and out. I was out the door by 3:40am – while leaving my complex I swiped my front bumper on the concrete wall taking some paint off – which made me seriously consider going back to bed, but of course, I didn’t. While in the car I had a cream of rice and oatmeal mixture with 1 scoop of Metabolic Nutrition ProtIMG_5566izyme. At 7am I stopped at the Delaware Welcome Center and got some coffee, I also had an apple and ¼ cup of almonds. I arrived at the Bethesda YMCA at 7:45am, full of excitement and nerves.

The day went well, I won’t go into it with minute by minute detail because I think it’s important for other instructors to experience the AIM module for themselves and not through me, but I will tell you this – we started with an introduction, we found out what track we would be presenting, and we got right into it. The room was broken into two groups – two people teaching at the same time to a group of other instructors. This reminded me of my AFAA group fitness certification, where there was other things going on and you had to tune it out and just listen to the music and do what you do. As soon as each person was done the instructor gave us “feedback on the fly” where she went over what we did good and things to work on for the second presentation later in the day. She said that I have great form, clean lines, and I’ve got layer 1 down pat. She said I am good with short cues teaching people “like a bodybuilder” would. I laughed, because that’s sort of what I do – which made me happy because it’s recognized and not a bad thing. She said that I need to work on getting people to move better – and really focus on the layer 2, challenging people and making sure to give the track focus and remind them throughout what that focus is. I was overjoyed that nowhere in that conversation was my voice mentioned – during my initial training all my instructor kept saying was that I needed to find my voice (well Adam, I guess I found it!! I’m not the quiet girl anymore!!).

She said that I have great form, clean lines, and I’ve got layer 1 down pat. She said I am good with short cues teaching people “like a bodybuilder” would. I laughed, because that’s sort of what I do – which made me happy because it’s recognized and not a bad thing.

After the presentations we all came together and began discussing Les Mills more indepth – we talked about the difference between brands and products and how as an instructor we are the face of Les Mills. If we are passionate about the program, we are the interface between our participants and the company – so what we portray will be what the members believe Les Mills to be as well. This is one big responsibility if you ask me, but I’m okay with that because I literally LIVE for body pump! It sounds crazy, but I love it so much and it really has helped keep me on my journey! Around 10am we took a little break and I had a half of my sweet potato and about 2oz of organic deli turkey.

We talked about the Body Pump brand, and how everything we do brings members either closer or farther away from the program. After we went over some more businessIMG_5587 we did some flexibility tests and got moving. I’ll leave the specifics out, but I will say for anyone who has gone through an AIM 1 training – my low back was killing me the entire way home but it was challenging and I’m better for it! Then we had a break for lunch. Lunch came around 2pm and I was famished. I knew that I had steak and a salad and another half of a sweet potato but I wanted some coffee as I was starting to lose steam. So, I used my GPS to find a 7-eleven and I was on my way! While I was there I picked up some Krave Beef Jerky, and some quest bars for the drive home. I also picked up a Caveman bar. I had never heard of them before but all of the IMG_5588ingredients were readable and I thought why the heck not! So for lunch I wound up having the caveman bar, 1.5oz of steak, the other half of my sweet potato and coffee. I should mention too that during this entire day I was drinking a gallon of water.

Then, after moving and challenging each other, we talked about coaching. We went into voice just a little more than the initial training (at least my initial training) and discussed where we could dial up and do something more or dial down and do something less. I asked about being too authoritative – being too much – because sometimes I walk in the room with a body builder/hardass type attitude and I really need to remember on a daily basis that not everyone in my class has my goals – and I’m there to help them with their goals! At 3 pm I had a banana while we dove deeper into our goals as instructors and started thinking about how we were going to present in just a short while.

We scripted a little bit before our final presentation, and we were given the opporunity to practice our scripts before we had to put our practice to use. Since we had 15 people we went through the entire release, all together for the warm up, and then tracks 2 – 8, each person presenting (again with the room split) and then we all came together to do the squat track as one large group. After our second presentation we all cleaned up the room while our trainer wrote out evaluation forms. My evaluation form was really quite good, She didn’t tick off the box saying that I’m AIM 2 ready, but that’s okay – even though this was my goal for today. Although I screwed up my choreo a bit in the second set, she marked that I did choreo, that I teach in the essence of Body Pump, that my technique is on point, and for the most part my coaching is quite good. She said that I added more followup than before but I just need to work on this more. I was very proud of myself for going through this day despite all of the things against me and I made sure to fuel myself which I’m sure is a huge reason why I was able to successfully complete the day.

I left around 6:15pm after finishing the training, and my gallon of water, to head back to NY and boy did I hit traffic. My first hour was literally stop and go and IIMG_5571 was hungry from just burning myself out during the last presentation, but I had a quest bar and my jerky to hold my tummy. At 8:45pm I stopped at the Delaware Welcome center again (which was only 45 minutes from the training but took me an hour and a half to get there because of traffic) and got a liter of water and filled my gas tank. During this stop I also had my second quest bar. At 10pm I was in NJ fighting myself to stay awake, contimplating stopping and taking a nap, I decided to eat something – maybe that would help. I had 1.5oz of steak and about a handful of the salad that I had made which was literally just iceberg lettuce in a ziplock tupperware container. Although tired I was close to the GWB and decided to just muscle through.

I arrived home around 10:45pm and immediately hit the showers. I fell asleep sometime around 11:30pm/12am happy with how my day went but utterly exhausted!

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31 Days of Clean Foods: Day 1

Today is my first day back to work after 5 days off, the first day of December, and the first day of my self proposed 31 days (I changed it to 31 days to be the full month of December) of clean foods.

Here’s my criteria for what constitutes as “clean” :

  • All produce
  • All unprocessed frozen fruits and veggies
  • Organic deli meat (This is more for convenience because of my schedule and I won’t eat this everyday)
  • Any animal protein
  • all RAW ingredients – for instance: if it comes from the isle sections at the super market – it should have only one or two ingredients. (this has been a tough one and it’s only day 1!!)
  • I will allow myself to have an occasional Quest bar as it is “clean” to an extent but this might change (for now I will have one on hand in case I’m starving and it will keep me out of the vending machine at work)
  • I will take Metabolic Nutrition C.G.P. every morning before my workout
  • I will take a multivitamin daily
  • I will take L-arginine in the morning and before bed (until I find research that tells me this is incorrect usage)
  • I will continue to drink Advocare’s Spark before my workouts
  • I will continue to drink Advocare’s Slam when I really need a boost
  • I will continue to take Advocare’s Thermoplus until I no longer have any and then I may or may not reorder
  • I will continue to drink Metabolic Nutrition whey protein shakes as part of my overall health plan

I will continue to add/subtract from my criteria as the month goes on and I learn more about what eating clean really means.

Moving on…

IMG_5193

Today was neither hard nor easy. I woke up at 5:30am and took – what seemed like – forever to get ready. I had to feed the dogs, feed the tree (this silly Christmas Tree is like another child! Why did I say okay to getting a real tree??) I couldn’t find my pants so I made my husband get out of bed to help me, and finally got out of the house at 6:45am! The plan was to get out of the house by 6:15, to the gym by 6:30, and be done with my cardio by 7:15 so I had plenty of time to shower and get ready for work so I could make and eat my breakfast and get to work on time. This clearly did not happen. I was in the gym by 6:55, on the stairmill by 7:00 and finished at 7:45am. I ran out of the shower and got to work at 8:04am to find out that two of the drop off patients were there waiting for me! Yikes! This meant not a lot of time for food – or anything at all – welcome back to work!

I finally got a chance to drink my protein shake at 8:45am which is much later than I’d have like to! I’m really trying to eat something within 15-30 minutes of my fasted cardio – the longer I’m fasted the more opportunity my body has to take it’s energy from my muscles – in essence breaking down the wrong macronutrient since I want it to break down fat – which it will do with the fasted cardio at no longer than 45 minutes! Anyway, after this the rest of the day went pretty well.

At around 11am I had about 1/4 cup of raw almonds – I would have liked to make this a more complete snack but I didn’t have a whole lot of time (this would have been a prime time for a quest bar). And at 1:30 I had lunch. For lunch I had about 1 cup of jasmine rice, about 2 cups of iceberg lettuce, 1oz chopped hazelnuts (they were in my bag and looked like they’d taste good as an extra added fat source), 4oz of baked chicken breast, and 6 cut up organic grape tomatoes. I had no idea how good this would be, I tend to just mix all different things together with a total disregard for flavor, but this was really good! I was surprised by how full I was – I wasn’t over full, but I was satisfied and I was satisfied for over 5 hours!! That is almost unheard of in my world!

At around 6pm I started to get a little hungry and it was almost time to leave, so I decided I’d finish up with what I was doing with work and then I’d eat my snack on my way home. The next time I looked up it was already 6:45 and oooo boy was my stomach grumbling. It’s important that I don’t let myself get too hungry because this has been a binge eating trigger in the past. I decided it was about time to leave work so I grabbed my medium honeycrisp apple (my all time favorite, I really wish they were all year round kind of apples) and 2 oz of organic deli turkey for the road.

I don’t really like eating in my car because it has become a bad habit – and a place where I can eat where no one can see me – which in turn has been a binge eating trigger as well, but I decided I had to go to the bank and pick up some meat for dinner so this was my best bet – plus I didn’t have any other food with me so I was pretty safe.

I headed to the bank and then to the supermarket. While at the supermarket I picked up some thinly sliced chicken breast and some thin sliced flank steak. I also picked up a few quest bars and an organic chocolate milk that literally had whole milk and cocoa powder as ingredients. I don’t usually do dairy but I was really craving chocolate and decided that this was probably my best bet – plus chocolate milk is a great recovery drink after a tough workout so I thought maybe I can add it to my shake tomorrow or Wednesday?! (So, maybe the chocolate milk wasn’t the “cleanest” of foods but, I’m still human and this is a work in progress – plus I promised that I would be honest and document everyIMG_5196thing!

When I got home I took care of the pups, and I cooked the flank steak and baked a sweet potato. I also decided it was a good idea to have two eggs and about 1 cup of green beans. Again, I don’t think about flavor, I just put things together! This meal was actually pretty darned good and I had IMG_5204it at about 8:45/9pm.

After 5 days of being home, Charlie was not happy that I left him all day. Definitely taking some time to cuddle with my poopsy – this is good for the mental health!!

Knowing that I will probably be asleep by 10pm I don’t have plans on eating anything else – but I will be honest, know that those quest bars are there is troubling me a bit – but I have to be strong. I will leave them and eat them when I’m actually hungry.

Oh, I should also mention that I have had 1 gallon of water today and I was chewing a piece of Orbit gum between lunch and my late afternoon snack.

SO far I think Day 1 has gone well. I’m a bit nervous about scheduling in the next few weeks because my schedule at work is about to get really crazy – I’m pulling in extra shifts which is going to throw off my training, which means I’m actually really glad that I’m going to be doing this but it also means that I’m going to have to be strong and really stick to the plan!

What are some of your tips/tricks for eating clean? Do you find that recipes can sometimes be overwhelming? What’s your favorite go-to meal while eating clean?

Hopefully at the end of the month I’ll be able to answer more of these questions!! Stay tuned to find out!

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A moment of truth – 11/26/14

This morning I woke up at 5:30am without an alarm. My body has seemed to get used to these hours and even on my day off I’m up way before the rest of the world (well, a lot of it anyways). I got up pretty quickly this morning because, although I’m not working today, I planned to hit the gym early to get in my fasted cardio before the snow started! I was determined to get in 1 full hour on the stairmaster for the first time in who knows when! I didn’t want to rush, since for once I didn’t have to, so I was determined not to! When I got to the gym I had a rush of emotions run through me. I felt like I had to get it off my chest before I could successfully complete my task, so I sat there, in my car and recorded the sound you will hear in the video at the bottom of this post. Prepare yourself, there is foul language – and I’m sorry, but at 6:30 in the morning I really had no filter. The following is a compilation of photos chosen to demonstrate my journey – also, I hope it also illustrates that my journey has NOT been a straight line. I have gone from overweight, to skinny, to gain weight again to skinny again to gain weight and muscle. I’m not where I want to be, I’ve got a long way to go and a lot of healing to do.

I hope that by posting this honest moment that someone out there can realize that they are not weird, they are not the only person who struggles with this, and they too can find peace and strength.

Thank you in advance for taking the time out of your busy day to listen to and watch this very heartfelt and honest video.

please click the video below to view in YouTube

moment of truth

For more information on Binge Eating Disorder please visit: http://bedaonline.com/

Author: Suzanne

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